


is crying in class punk rock?

by smudgywords



Category: South Park
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Kyle Broflovski, Bisexual Stan Marsh, Bisexuality, F/F, Fist Fights, Fluff and Angst, Genderswap, Horny Teenagers, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Mutual Pining, Pining, Rollerblades & Rollerskates, Underage Drinking, Useless Lesbians, style
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:14:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22780819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smudgywords/pseuds/smudgywords
Summary: There's a fiery new girl on campus and Stan thinks she might be in love.
Relationships: Kenny McCormick/Leopold "Butters" Stotch, Kyle Broflovski/Stan Marsh
Comments: 15
Kudos: 52





	1. honeypie

**Author's Note:**

> homophobic language in the beginning! sorry

It all started with two words. 

“Hey, dyke!” 

The ginger girl whipped around, hair highlighting her sudden anger. She took three steps to Erica’s direction, a scowl on her face and hands squeezed into fists. 

“What did you just call me?” She hissed, emerald eyes surprisingly dull under the fluorescent lights. Stan could tell that shit was about to go down by the way she rolled her sleeves up and patted down her black pleated skirt. Erica seemed slightly intimidated. 

“I said you’re a dyke,” Erica sneered, grin face-splitting, “You got hearing issues or something?” Stan sighed, and she could hear Kenny groan behind her mask.. 

“No, I’m just making sure before I beat your ass,” She rolled her eyes, a small scoff coming out of her mouth. Stan was actually scared for Erica. 

“Beat my ass? You’re a twig, I could snap you in half,” Erica taunted, crossing her ams and walking closer to the taller teenage girl. 

“I’d like to see you try,” She growled, staring down at her angrily. Her face was surprisingly calm, pupils set directly in Erica’s eyes. Erica was nervous, Stan could tell, the way she took a small step backwards when she noticed just how much the other girl loomed over her. 

It happened in barely three seconds, Erica aiming for her gut, with the ginger girl dodging and tripping Erica. Erica, however, was quick to get up and throw useless punches that hit air. The ginger was more precise, hitting Erica’s eye and nose in rapid succession before taking a few steps backwards. 

As expected, Erica was on the ground, nose bleeding and crying like a baby. Just two hits and she was done. The taller girl seemed satisfied, walking away without a word. Since this was South Park University, no campus security came. 

So the redheaded phoenix walked away, leaving amazed stares in her wake. Stan was mad at herself for not getting a better look of the girl. 

Stan just looked at Kenny who shrugged, one of the strings connecting her medical mask to her head popping suddenly. With a grunt of indignation, she set to fixing it. 

\---

The rest of the day was spent in confusion. Stan’s eyes wandering around the entire campus, searching for the redheaded vixen who left just as quickly as she came. 

She got her wish in her second class of the day. Stan nearly gasped when she saw the girl walk in, arms carrying her books and a hot coffee. She didn’t take notice of Stan, just walked past her and settled herself into one of the closer seats. 

She was, fortunately, directly across from Stan, allowing for easy studying of her features. 

Her hair was a curly, wild, fire-orange. It was cut neatly just at her shoulders, swaying with her every movement. She did wear a ushanka, however, which almost completely blocked all view of her hair. She seemed to be rather slim, and if the fight told Stan anything, extremely cat-like. 

With a cough and a confused look, she made eye contact with Stan, who burst into a blush at the realization of how much she was ogling her. 

The rest of the class was difficult, with Stan struggling to keep her curiosity to herself. The girl was extremely easy to be drawn to, and was even more intriguing with Stan’s recent revelation with her sexuality.

Just last month she had realized she was bisexual, attracted to girls and boys. Though boys took up the majority, girls were a different type of beauty. 

The girl in front of her was practically the conclusion, Stan thought, because she was the epitome of Stan’s type. A goddess like Athena, she realized. Slim and tender but still a brilliant warrior. 

Stan didn’t even know her name yet she could write poetry about her. 

Though Stan was hardly a girl you could write poetry about, she had been described on many occasions by douchey guys as ‘exotic’. Being white, she was nothing close to it. Still, it wasn’t like she was ugly. She had tan skin and short, straight, black hair and blue eyes that had been compared to an ocean once or twice by her mother. 

The class was over and Stan hadn’t written a single note. 

Lunch was even worse, with Erica complaining about her encounter with the new girl and Kenny talking about how hot she was. 

I mean, it wasn’t like Stan didn’t agree, but Kenny could’ve been classier about it. 

“God, those mile-long legs, am I right?” Kenny sighed, practically drooling, “With those cute little knee-highs, shit,” 

“C’mon, Kenny, people are eating here,” Erica grunted, taking a huge bite of her greasy school cafeteria pizza. “Plus, she’s not even that hot, you just like her because you guys were partnered together in Psych,” 

Stan’s eyebrows flew upwards, “Wait, what?” 

Kenny sighed, flicking Erica on the nose, “Uh, yeah, we did get partnered up, she seems pretty cool so far,” 

“Really?” Stan hummed, sipping her iced tea. “She does seem pretty cool, and I will agree, she’s, uh, pretty, just in general,” 

Kenny grinned, “Finally over Wendyl, are we?” The thought of the boy made Stan wince, and she briefly recalled their time together. 

Wendyl was nice, albeit bossy. He was a Political Science major, and he always seemed to drag Stan into his protests. Their relationship ended on a rocky note due to Stan finding out he was cheating on her. 

“Don’t even bring him up, seriously,” Stan groaned, “But yes, I am over him, but don’t get too excited, we don’t even know if this chick is gay or not,” 

Kenny giggled, lowering her mask to drink her soda, “This chick’s name is Kyle, by the way, well, sort of,” She scratched the back of her neck, “Her real name is Kylie, but she told me to never ever call her that because she hates it,” 

“Jesus, was she named after a Kardashian? I would literally cry if that was me,” Stan laughed, 

“Yeah, me too, Stanelle,” Kenny sneered playfully. 

“Don’t, you know I hate that name,” Stan pointed judgmentally, “Plus, it’s not even the same thing. My parents picked out some weird art deco name for me, while Kyle was literally named after Kylie Jenner,” 

“Hey, we don’t know that. Atleast her name isn’t like Kyleena or some shit,” Kenny rolled her blue eyes, stealing a fry from Stan’s plate. 

\--

After lunch, Stan headed back to her dorm for a much-needed nap. Her dorm room was extremely messy, with assignments that were probably late and pencils covering the floor. See, Stan was an Art major, so that meant she had to draw constantly. 

She stepped over the various drawings of skulls and animation refs to her plaid-covered bed. Throwing herself into it, she pulled the covers quickly over her head and closed her eyes. 

Sleep didn’t come easily to her, but today she felt so tired that it fell upon her immediately and didn’t let her go until the next morning.

That night she dreamed of a beautiful forest-eyed goddess, climbing trees in a long, wavy white dress. She had flowers braided into her red hair, and golden bangles hanging from her wrist that threatened to fall off but never did. 

Stan watched with amazement, seeing the girl walk around the trees as if they were good friends of hers. Her gentle hands poured over the bumpy, rough exterior of the trunks, caressing moss and ants. 

Stan made a slightly choked noise as she saw the way the woman touched every plant like it had a spirit, causing her to look back at the blushing noirette. 

As soon as she made eye contact, Stan woke up. 


	2. myspace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rollerskating is prime bisexual activity

They were 3 minutes into roller skating and Stan already had a headache. The neon lights, disco ball, and alarmingly loud 80’s music was more than enough to complete the aesthetic they were going for. 

Worse yet, Clydia was already crying about falling. She eyed the brunette with contempt as she sobbed. 

Kenny, however, was freely roller skating around all of them. Apparently, she was a master at the skill. Stan, on the other hand, was a literal disaster. She fell about three times so far, and they hadn’t even gotten on the rink yet. 

The three of them were having fun, but Stan would’ve much rather been at home in bed watching Chopped then falling on her ass four times in a row. Clydia finally stopped crying, standing up and giving the skates a test-glide. She teetered, anxiety written all over her face, Kenny held onto her arm, helping her. 

Stan eyed the other skaters in the rink, seeing a familiar flash of red hair go by. She almost looked away, but she whipped her head back just in time. Out on the rink, wearing a black t-shirt with the word ‘STAFF’ in big white font on the front. The little girl hanging on her arm was obviously having the time of her life, skating freely. Shit, Kyle must have worked as an instructor here. 

“Oh shit, look, Stan,” Kenny pointed out, as if Stan didn’t already see her. “Your lucky day, eh?” 

“No, I don’t really consider it my lucky day when I’m going to fall on my ass fifteen times in front of a cute girl,” Stan groaned loudly, covering her face with her hands. Kyle looked over for a second, waved to Kenny, and started gliding over. 

“Hey, Ken,” She greeted, breaking herself on the tip of her skates. Stan uncovered her face, and immediately burst into a blush. Kyle had her hair pulled into a bun with little red strands framing her face.

“‘Sup, Kyle, these are my other friends, Clydia and Stan,” Kenny pointed to them, making Stan wave awkwardly. 

“Stan? What’s that short for?” Kyle hummed, sitting beside her on the bench. Stan inhaled sharply as the scent of vanilla hit her nose. Still, even with the mind-numbingly sweet smell, she managed to roll her eyes at the comment. 

“Ugh, don’t get me started,” Stan laughed nervously, “It’s short for Stanelle, my parents probably thought they were being so quirky when they named me,” Kyle giggled at the story, eyes meeting Stan’s. With every word Kyle spoke, Stan could feel her heart bump just a little more. 

“Hey, it’s better than being named after a fucking Kardashian, man, my real name is Kylie,” Kyle fixed her hair, placing it in a tighter hold with the scrunchie. “But don’t ever call me that, please, it’s literally the worst,” 

“Hey, Kenny, Stan, and Kyle. We sound like a bunch of white 10 year olds,” Stan laughed, folding and unfolding her legs. She had made a huge mistake by wearing her mom jeans today. The cuffs at the bottom kept folding over, going loose on her. 

“That we do,” Kyle smirked, “Anyway, you guys wanna go on the rink?” Kyle extended her hand, gesturing to the cyan-lighted rink. One guy rolled directly into a wall. 

“Well, I would go but,” Kenny drawled, “Little Stanny here doesn’t know how to skate,” Kenny smirked, winking at Stan. It’s a good thing Kyle didn’t catch it, because Stan was a fucking cherry tomato at the moment. 

“Well, I mean, it’s kinda my job to help newcomers,” Kyle grinned, “I don’t get paid nine dollars an hour for nothing,” She said the last part louder, obviously directed at somebody close by. 

A smaller, angry Latina girl popped out of the counter, immediately pointing at Kyle with disdain, “Only nine dollars! We need to form a fucking union, I swear, not even healthcare or dental,” 

“It’s union time, baby,” Kyle smirked, winking at her.

“Revolution!” The other girl winked back, going back behind the counter to fetch some shoes. 

“Who was that?” Kenny purred, obviously viewing her as a potential new partner. 

“Her name is Davida, she’s really cool,” Kyle explained, “But I wouldn’t set your heart on her, she’s straight as far as I know,” 

Kenny groaned, throwing her arms up in the air, “They’re always straight! Why can’t I just meet a cute little gay girl to take to the movies and love?” 

Kyle seemed to be thinking for a moment, tapping her chin in thought. 

“You know, Kenny, I might know someone for you,” She lit up, “Come with me, guys,” 

Kyle got up, leading them to a doorway with a sign ‘Employees Only’. She went in, obviously not caring about the rule. Stan rolled in cautiously, clinging to walls as a safety measure. Clydia wasn’t doing much better, having fallen over as soon as she entered the room. Kenny scooped her up, leaning her against the wall. 

“Hey, Butters, come out here a second, will you?” Kyle shouted. Immediately, a little blonde head popped into the doorway. She was the epitome of Kenny’s type. Cute, innocent, fuck, she even had a flower crown on. Kenny’s eyes immediately lit up as her face turned red. 

With a nudge,  Stan winked at her taller friend. Kenny just smiled in wonder. 

“Butters, this is Kenny, and Kenny, this is Butters,” Kyle introduced them, smiling in satisfaction at a matchmaking job well done. 

“H-Hey, Butters,” Kenny awkwardly waved, almost sweating as the smaller girl smiled at her. 

“Hiya, nice to meet you,” She grinned, “So what’s up? Do you need help learning to rollerskate?” 

Kenny smiled dopily, “Yeah, I’m practically helpless,” 

Stan tried to stifle her laugh, making her sound like she had a wicked cough. Kyle caught her eye and immediately burst into laughter. 

“What’s so funny?” Kenny glared at Stan, with a general message of ‘don’t mess this up for me’ written all over her face. Stan kept quiet, though it was difficult. 

“Well, should we begin lessons, Stan?” Kyle tried to speak through her laughter, but ultimately it just led to her speech being muffled. Stan, however, being the thirsty hoe she was, hung onto her words immensely. 

“Sure thing..” She murmured, trying to quiet her gasp when Kyle outstretched her hand to her. Stan shyly took it, praying that her hands weren’t as sweaty as she thought they were. 

“Man, you must be nervous, your hands are super fucking sweaty, dude,” Kyle laughed, not a hint of malice in her tone. Stan laughed too, but it was more out of embarrassment than anything else. 

As they got out onto the open space, Kyle immediately took to teaching her the basics. 

“So, basically, stand in a bow-legged stance. Think, like, shoulder-width apart,” Kyle instructed, she was focused, her tongue slightly peeking out of her mouth. 

Stan hurriedly followed her instructions, trying her damndest to balance on those cursed skates. 

“Okay, now, the tip in the front is called the stopper, or at least that’s what I call it,” Kyle pointed, “Use that to propel yourself forward. Then, once you’re going in the right direction, just coast. It’s pretty simple once you get the hang of it,” 

Stan took her instructions to heart, trying to propel herself forward towards the chairs. Immediately, she fell flat on her face. She could hear Kyle trying to stifle her laughter in the background. 

Stan really did think about laying there forever until she decayed, but Kyle flipped her over and held out a hand for her to grab onto. 

Stan sighed, taking it. 

“I guess I better stick around you for a while, eh?” Kyle smiled, “Let’s go on the rink, it’s easier to practice there,” Without a word from Stan, Kyle led her to the rink. It wasn’t like Stan could stop her, anyway. 

Once they got on the rink, they went pretty fast. Kyle was an expert in skating apparently, because she glided like an angel. If you looked at her too fast, you’d think she was levitating. 

Stan was slowly but surely getting the hang of it, still though, she didn’t let go of Kyle’s hand. Kyle didn’t seem to mind, even going as far as to rub circles in her palm. 

A booming rock song came on the loudspeakers. As a Bauhaus enthusiast, Stan immediately recognized it as their cover of David Bowie’s ‘Ziggy Stardust’. She started humming along, forgetting exactly where she was for a second. 

“You like Bauhaus?” Kyle whispered, tone soft next to Stan’s ear. She wasn’t blushing, didn’t seem to be nervous at all. Stan, on the other hand, was sweating as a shiver went down her spine. 

“Uh, yeah, I love them,” Stan admitted, “David Bowie is pretty cool too,” 

“You seem like the type to like classic 80’s stuff,” Kyle said, but immediately took it back as she realized the way her words could be interpreted, “I mean, not in a bad way, most of those songs are famous for a reason, right?” 

Stan smirked, feeling more comfortable when Kyle showed the slightest bit of awkwardness. It was probably stupid, but Stan felt like this could be a good friendship. Or more?

“I’m more of a grunge type, actually,” Stan waved her hand in the air, “Though, that’s basically just depressed rock,” 

“I’m more of an indie fan, I like, uh, Tame Impala and Marina and The Diamonds,” Kyle sighed in embarrassment, “I’m kind of a basic bitch, I know,” 

Stan shook her head, “No way, dude, Tame Impala and Marina are amazing! Just because they’re more mainstream doesn’t make them inherently bad,” 

“Wow, I never really thought of it that way, I guess,” Kyle obviously had an idea at the moment, smirking at Stan and instantly leading them over to the employees only section.

“Wait right there for a second, I’ll be back,” Kyle ducked into the room and fiddled with the iPhone connected to the speakers. As the song started to end, louder, more psychedelic music started playing. The Less I Know The Better. 

She came back out, grabbing Stan’s hand. “Just popular enough to satisfy the teenage girls here, right?” 

Stan smiled, going along with her. Kyle was skating a bit faster now since Stan had learned. 

The music was soft over the speakers, but Stan and Kyle still sang the lyrics as they rolled around the rink. 

Stan would listen to that song a lot more often. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave comments pls!!! love yall


	3. far from born again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh?

Weeks came and went with Kyle. She was now a staple of their table, loud but polite enough to reduce her political speak to a minimum. Stan wasn’t really sure what she expected from Kyle as a friend, but she still managed to surprise her. 

Kyle was elegant in speech and prose, but she was also secretly a huge nerd with an untameable temper. Since Erica also happened to sit at their table, it had been decided early on that at least three people should sit between the two. Stan volunteered immediately, sitting right at her side. 

She also happened to have an inexplicable love for animals, much to Craig’s delight. At her home back in New Jersey, she had a pet cat named Birdie. Craig and Kyle spent more than one lunch trading photos of their respective pets, usually dressed in some form of costume. 

The ginger girl somehow got along with everyone, especially Stan and Kenny. 

So, when Stan was going to have a get-together at her apartment for the night, she obviously invited Kyle. It should’ve been nothing, just a simple question and answer, but Stan took it to new lengths by obsessing over possible embarrassing situations. 

Of course, in the end, Kyle enthusiastically agreed. 

She came with a 12-pack of illegal beer, well hidden in her backpack. Craig was enthused about this, patting her on the back for bringing such an essential item. 

“Finally, someone who isn’t a pussy,” Craig scoffed. 

“W-Well, excuse us, Craig, we -ngh- just don’t want to get fined for having beer in the dorms,” Tweek rolled her eyes, sipping her iced coffee. 

“We damn well learned our lesson last year with Erica, pretty sure she’s still paying that off,” Kenny laughed, rolling over onto the blanket. Her hair, messily braided into two long braids on either side of her head, started unfurling, much to her dismay. 

“Well, I guess there’s only one thing to do,” Kyle evilly smiled, making Stan gulp and fix her hat in a sudden storm of attraction. “We have to drink all of it. So they can’t accuse us of anything,” 

“Kyle, you’re my soulmate,” Kenny proclaimed, busy fixing her hair again. She hadn’t worn her mask tonight, instead wearing a dark purple lipstick. “I propose a toast,” She said, cracking open a warm beer. 

Kyle grabbed one too, humoring her. “This better be good, I hate warm beer,” 

“To getting super wasted and being gay!” Kenny shouted, making Kyle double over in laughter. Both of them immediately started drinking, trying to chug but in a more cleanly manner, out of respect to Stan’s clean white rug. 

“Love that for us,” Craig chuckled, taking a sip out of Tweek’s coffee in respect to the clear gayness the two girls in front of her brought to the table.

“Alright, alright, I don’t want anyone barfing on my floor, got it? I want that deposit back,” Stan said in between laughs. 

“Don’t worry, if the RA says anything, I’ll seduce him,” Kenny promised, batting her eyelashes and fake-swooning over the supposed RA. 

Things were going pretty okay. The five of them squeezed together on the couch to watch a movie, “Birds of Prey”, which was, of course, Kyle’s immaculate choice. Unfortunately (or fortunately, however you look at it), five people being put together on a couch makes for little breathing room, so Kyle was pressed right up against her. 

Kyle was wearing little basketball shorts, and her bare leg was pressed right up against Stan. Stan resisted the urge to fidget. It got even worse when Kyle put her head against Stan’s shoulder. 

Kyle was like a furnace, really, Stan had to suppress the urge to cuddle against her for warmth. Just as the movie ended, Kyle’s phone started chiming. 

Stan tried hard not to think about the initial look of panic upon Kyle’s face. 

The ginger picked up her phone, staring at the messages with a stone-faced expression. Her hand, Stan realized, her hand was shaking. Craig, Kenny, and Tweek weren’t paying attention to the situation, but Stan was. 

Stan stealthily pulled herself close to Kyle’s ear, whispering as soothingly as she could, “Hey, you alright?” 

Kyle flinched, not hard enough for the others to notice, but to Stan, every movement and sharp intake of breath was an alarm bell. She tried to fake a smile, but her eyes kept darting between Stan and her phone screen. Eventually, she just dropped it. 

“I have to go.” 

Stan frowned quizzically, a question lingering in the air. “What’s going on?” She said softly. 

“It’s nothing, I just have to-” Kyle’s voice unconsciously rose, and now Craig, Kenny, and Tweek were looking. Kyle shoved her phone in her pocket when she noticed their stares. “I just have to go, okay?” 

Stan let the question go, allowing Kyle to escape the couch of warm bodies to throw her shoes on. Her movements were so frantic that Stan found herself breathing faster. 

“Uh, see you later, I guess?” Kenny blinked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Yep,” Kyle responded, out of breath. She made a dash for the door, and Stan put her head in her hands. 

There was a moment of silence between the three remaining girls. 

“Is she okay?” Craig finally asked. 

Stan pulled her knees up to her chest. Something was very, very wrong here. Wrong enough that it made Kyle scared. Scared of what? Of who?

“I don’t think so,” Stan whispered, trying to stomach the feeling of nausea because what the hell was that? Why did she need to leave, who told her to? Where was she going, and most importantly, is she going to be safe when she gets there? “Someone texted her, I think, and then all that happened,” 

“W-Who - ngh - do you think it could be?” Tweek sighed, breath characteristically shaky. 

“I- I really don’t know,” Stan paused. 

“I’ll text her and make sure she’s okay, alright? I’m sure it’s nothing,” Kenny tried to ease their worries, but Stan couldn’t shake the feeling of wrongness. 

Is she safe?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry yalll it had to happen sometime


	4. lies in 60 degree heat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan is a little past worried now.

It’s their only shared class of the day, and Kyle is nowhere to be seen. 

Needless to say, Stan is worried out of her mind. She’s been thinking about her nonstop ever since Kyle ran out of the house. 

She never responded to Kenny’s message, but she read it.   
Every single time Stan was finished with the current slide of notes, she would turn her gaze to the doors next to the teacher’s desk. Still, nothing. She was hoping for Kyle to run in, frazzled and apologizing profusely to the professor, but it never happened. 

As the class came to an end, Stan made up her mind. She was going to find Kyle’s dorm and make sure she was okay, and that was final. 

First step, text Kenny and ask if she knows. Unfortunately, Kenny never answered, so Stan was by herself on this one. She vaguely remembered Davida and Butters, Kyle’s friends from the rink. That would be her first stop. 

She would’ve asked Kenny for Butters’ number, but alas, Kenny was obviously doing something more important than hounding her phone at the moment. So, Davida it was. 

As she made her way into the roller rink, she spotted Davida’s straight black hair in the shoe stand. In a very jogger-like run, she made her way over, and Davida definitely did not recognize her. 

“May I help you?” She asked, customer-service voice booming through Stan’s ears. 

“Hey, uh, you know Kyle right?” Stan tapped the desk anxiously. 

“Uh, yes, why?” Davida asked, eyebrow up in question. 

“I’m worried about her, she didn’t come to our class, and well, you know how she is. Do you by any chance know where her dorm is?” Stan rambled in one breath. Davida did not look impressed by this. 

“Prove you know her. What’s her real name? First and last.” Davida responded, leaning across the counter. 

“Okay, uh, her first name is Kylie, I know that, but,” Stan paused. What the hell was her last name? Something with a B.

“Last name?” Davida stared into her soul, making her anxiety levels rise. 

“Um, Br-” Stan stumbled over her words, “Something like that. Br-something. I don’t remember it, I’m sorry,” 

Davida sighed, “I’ll take it. It’s close enough to Broflovski. Anyway, her room is 315 in the Huddle Street dorms, you know the one?” 

Stan nodded, breath coming easier. “Thank you so much,” Stan began to walk away, but before she could leave, Davida called her for one last thing. 

“When you get there, uh,” Davida let a puff of air out, “Tell me how she is, I’m worried too,” 

It took 5 minutes for Stan to drive over to her apartment. Her speed levels were over the limit, and she very reasonably could’ve been pulled over, but God decided to throw her a bone on this one. 

Marching up the stairs she made it to the third floor and began scanning the door numbers. 

She cautiously held the chocolate bar she picked up for Kyle in her hands. It was on the way, and Stan figured it wasn’t such a bad idea. 

Finally, she found room 315, but before she could knock, she heard nearly-silent sobbing from the inside. 

Stan’s breath left her lungs, and her fist hovered right next to the door. She gulped as quietly as she could, but the way Kyle’s crying stopped immediately made her blood run cold. 

Finally, she threw caution to the wind and knocked. It was silent for a moment, before she heard Kyle get off the bed and walk next to the door. Kyle opened the door, and Stan could feel her heart fall out of place. 

Kyle had on an oversized t-shirt and sweatpants, which obviously didn’t bother Stan, but her eyes. Her eyes were red, and the area under her eyes was glistening, like she tried to wipe it away but failed. Even worse, a small bruise on her collarbone, tinted multiple colors of purple and blue. 

“Stan?” Kyle’s voice wavered. 

“Hey, Ky,” Stan breathed out silently, trying to prevent tears coming to her own eyes. Kyle was gnawing on her lip. 

“How did you-” 

“I asked Davida, I-” Stan cut herself off, trying to prevent the break that was coming. “I was really worried,” 

Kyle didn’t say anything, just looked down at the floor and let Stan come in. Her room wasn’t a disaster like Stan’s, it was orderly and personalized, but the picture of a crying girl in the middle of it made it seem very, very wrong. 

Kyle closed the door and went to sit down on the bed. A small ashtray was next to the window, a couple cigarettes in it. Stan raised her eyebrows. 

“You smoke?” 

Kyle sniffled, “I- No, those are my boyfriend’s,” 

Boyfriend’s. Of course. Why would someone as beautiful and funny as Kyle be single? 

Stan noticeably stiffened, but she had to remember that this was not about her right now, it was about Kyle. She sat down next to Kyle on her sky-blue comforter. 

“Is there any way I can help?” Stan whispered, presenting Kyle with a chocolate bar. Kyle smiled sadly, grabbing it gently and looking at the packaging. 

“Thanks, for this, you didn’t have to,” She murmured. 

“Kyle, please, what-what’s going on? Are you okay?” Stan spoke fast, akin to how she spoke with Davida. Kyle froze for a second, gears running in her head. 

“I’ll be fine. Just give me a day or two, that’s all,” Kyle sighed, laying back on her bed. Stan felt awkward being the only one still sitting up, so she laid down beside her, face to face. 

“What happened?” Stan asked, but she saw the anxiety on Kyle’s face. “If you-if you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine, but at least let me stay and help,” 

“I don’t really want to tell you, not now, at least,” Kyle blinked, ginger eyelashes ghosting on her cheeks. Stan couldn’t help but to softly push a curly strand of hair behind her ear, and Kyle let a whisper of a smile come onto her chapped lips. 

“Do you want me to stay? I-We could watch a movie and get some DoorDash or something,” Stan frowned, not entirely okay with not knowing why Kyle was so upset, but understanding that some things just can’t be said. 

“Yeah, that’d be really nice. Movie choice is yours, just nothing sad please,” Kyle gingerly held Stan’s hand, and Stan rubbed tiny little circles into her palm. 

“How about the last Avengers? We can make fun of it,” Stan tried hard not to let a blush come onto her cheeks. Kyle was taken, she had a boyfriend who probably loved her alot. Stan did not fit into that equation right now. 

Would she ever? 

Not right now. Right now was about Kyle, first and foremost. 

“Sounds good, can we order in Denny’s or something, though?” Kyle rolled over on the bed, face towards the ceiling. She had a scrunchie on her wrist, which she used to pull her hair into a bun. 

Somehow every action that Kyle did hurt Stan, every gentle but swift movement of her fingers, arranging the hair into place, it stung. Stan looked away, barbed wire collapsing her throat. 

She clicked the TV onto Netflix, and looked for Avengers. Kyle must have noticed something was off, because she sat up. 

“Dude, are you…” She paused, unsure of how to say her next words, “Okay?” 

“Yeah, of course I am,” Stan bit her lip, forcing a smile. This was not Kyle’s fault, no matter how betrayed she felt. 

“Okay, I guess,” 

So they watched the movie, cuddling in bed and turning their head to the TV. Stan was uncomfortable, in more ways then one. She couldn’t do this, she couldn’t keep being Kyle’s friend when she knew damn well that she was in love. 

But Kyle was asleep. 

Kyle had nestled herself in the blankets and wrapped an arm around Stan’s torso. Stan couldn’t help the heavy feeling in her heart. 

She gave up, clicking the TV off and closing her eyes. 

They never did order Denny’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry the chapters arent longer lol im like physically incapable of doing super long chaps


	5. don’t be shy, put some more

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uh oh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> buckle up guys this is a long one. 
> 
> also I’m so sorry I didn’t post for 3 months :( covid got me messed up. 
> 
> TW// transphobia, homophobia, emotional abuse-ish? if you have mommy issues be careful wit this one bros

Stan and Kyle were rudely interrupted by Kyle’s boyfriend, strolling in at 4 AM.  
  


Kyle ripped away from Stan at lightning speed, eyes wide.   


“Kylie? Who is that?” He asked. Stan took his presence in. He was white, black scruffy hair and broad shoulders. 

“Uh, just my friend,” She sat up, chewing her lip. “I thought you were gonna be at your friend’s dorm tonight, babe?” 

“Well, you know how it is, had to see my little Kylie or I’d just burst,” He laughed, sitting on the bed. He was too close to Stan for her liking. 

“Uh, I’m Stan,” She lifted her hand outwards to shake his, but he seemingly ignored it. 

“Stan? What kind of name is that?” He laughed again, but it was pointedly mocking this time. 

Stan narrowed her eyes, “It’s my name,” 

“Sounds like a guy name,” He huffed, “I’m TJ,” 

Stan felt insults on the tip of her tongue, but for the sake of Kyle, who was rubbing her eyes tiredly, she held back. 

“Nice to meet you,” Stan said, as cold as possible. 

“Yeah, so uh, no offense, but could I get some private time with my girl? Sorry, it’s just-“ 

“No problem at all,  **TJ** ,” Stan glared, before gathering her stuff and stomping out the door. 

How could Kyle be fine with that? Stan KNEW Kyle saw through that. Kyle didn’t take any bullshit from anyone, so why was she taking his shit? 

Another part of her grimaced. Maybe Stan was overreacting. It was 4 AM, they were all tired, maybe he didn’t mean to be so rude. Maybe he wasn’t rude at all, and Stan was just too cranky to care. 

Stan sighed, walking down the empty halls and stairways until she got out to her car. 

————-

“Fuck, could I have gotten any uglier villagers?” Craig grunted from her spot on the couch. 

Tweek immediately let out a mock gasp of indignation. “A-All villagers are - ack! All villagers are-are queens, Craig!” 

“If they breathe, they’re a thot,” Craig’s lips perked up, eyes so absolutely in love with Tweek. Tweek was too busy trying to catch a tarantula to notice. 

Stan barely contained the huff inside of her throat. Why was life so unfair? Why did Craig get a perfect girlfriend when Stan could get none? 

Kenny rolled over next to Stan, eyes wide of concern. 

She whispered. “I saw that betrayed glare, what’s going on?” 

Stan huffed aloud this time. “Nothing, Ken,” 

“Are you sure it’s not about your visit with Kyle?” Kenny said, too loud. Craig raised an eyebrow. 

“You visited her?” Craig monotoned. 

“Yeah, I did, and I also found out she has a boyfriend,” Stan rolled over, face in the covers. 

A unanimous groan of sadness for Stan went through the room, as if that were supposed to make her feel better. 

“It gets worse!” Stan scoffed, standing up now, “He smokes! And he’s a huge dick!” 

“Stan, I smoke,” Kenny raised her eyebrow. 

“I know, it’s just-ugh, it’s different. He’s just a huge asshole. He calls her Kylie,” Stan growled, “-to her face! And she just accepts it and moves on. I mean, he fucking kicked me out of the dorm and she said nothing! He’s a fucking jerkoff!” 

Kenny grimaced. “Jesus, that doesn’t sound like something Kyle would just let go,” 

“I know! I showed up and she’s all crying and shit, then at 4 AM in the fucking morning, he just strolls in like he was the one who helped her. He was at his friend’s the entire time!” Stan hissed, throwing her phone down on the bed. 

“Stan, that sucks,” Craig said, then stopped. Stan felt her frustration growing. 

“That’s it? You find nothing else extremely wrong about this guy?” Stan crosses her arms, “Am I the only one who is really upset about this?”

“Look, dude, I mean, you liked her. Then you found out she was taken. It hurts, I know, but you gotta move on,” Kenny rubbed Stan’s shoulder in painful sympathy. 

“No, fuck you guys, even if I didn’t like her, you have to realize something is fucking wrong with that guy. She just lets him walk all over her, that’s not normal!” Stan shouted, tone increasingly aggressive. She snatched her phone from the bed and slammed the door as she walked out. 

As she walked to her car and slammed its door, her phone binged. 

_ kyle :): hey I need a favor ;))) _

_ stanky: yeah what’s up?? _

_ kyle :): soo my parents invited me to this big fancy Jew party thing and I’m allowed to bring a plus one so it won’t be totally shitty. wanna go?  _

Stan felt a wave of indignation go through her. 

_ stanky: y isn’t Tj going  _

_ kyle :): it’s just not his thing ya know  _

_ kyle :): sorry I’ll ask someone else sorry for bothering u _

_ stanky: no!!! I’ll go sounds fun  _

_ stanky: i was jw _

_ kyle :): oh ok! well it’s tonigh at 6-11 pm. dress fancy  _

_ stanky: how fancy  _

_ kyle :): dress with heels or flats fancy  _

_ stanky: ooo okay _

_ stanky: u want me to lick you up  _

_ stanky: *PICK I MEANT PICK  _

_ kyle :): LMAO yeah if u don’t mind  _

_ stanky: k sounds good can’t waitttt _

Stanley mentally berated herself for her typo that made her text seem a bit risqué. 

She pulled her seatbelt over her and started the car, already groaning at the thought of having to wear a dress. Dresses were not her thing whatsoever. She was more of a button-down shirt and dress pants sort of girl. However, the idea of Kyle in a dress? 

No. Kyle has a boyfriend. 

Stanley sighed, driving away to her dorm. She zoned out the entire drive, finally arriving at her dorm and getting out of the car. This whole TJ situation was fucking with her mood, and she really didn’t want that to show on her face when she was with Kyle. 

Maybe Kenny and the others were right. Maybe TJ was actually a great guy and Stanley was just being stupid and heartbroken. 

Then again, Kyle’s name is NOT Kylie. 

Stanley finally got to her dorm and plopped on the bed. Papers were still littering her floor, but she managed to clear it out so she could start working on a project for one of her classes. The assignment was to make a painting reflecting something that makes you angry. It was interesting, she guessed, but lately all she could think about was Kyle. So, you can only imagine what the painting was of. 

A picture of a woman’s neck, with two puncture holes like a vampire bite and wild flowers growing out of them. The woman’s face is just out of frame, but Stan definitely thought about putting a few flaming locks of ginger over the shoulder. However, it might be too on the nose at that point. 

It may sound stupid, but it was symbolic, so it’s allowed to be stupid. 

Stan finally slumped out of bed. It was around 4:00 and she figured she should probably start getting dressed. 

Trudging to her closet, she found two simple dresses. That’s it. 

One was a precariously short spaghetti strap dress. It was black on top and the actual skirt part was red flannel. Stan thought it was okay, but wasn’t completely sure how Kyle’s family would take it. 

The other option was definitely not Stan’s, and most likely one of Craig’s old dresses that she secretly distributed within the friend group in order to be rid of them. Honestly, Stan didn’t blame her, Craig was even more of a no-dresses girl than Stan. It was pretty simple, just an oversized black button-down dress. 

Stan tried it on, and was immediately swallowed up by the fabric. Make that extremely-oversized. 

She tried to think like one of her more fashionable friends, tried to imagine what Tweek or maybe even Kenny would say about it. Maybe it needs a belt? 

Stan took one of her old leather belts and wrapped it tightly around the waist. It looked better, but it could definitely use something. 

That something was jewelry, which Stan definitely had none of, so she instead paired it with a dark wine colored lipstick that she wore on occasion. 

She looked a little goth, but dressing goth wasn’t ever really something that Stan shied away from. 

Stan brushed her hair quickly, before checking the time. 

It was only 5:00, why the hell did she get dressed so quickly? 

So, naturally, she took this time to worry about how the party would go. 

“Shit, what if her parents hate me?” Stan wondered aloud to herself. Stan had been told that she wasn’t a very approachable person. Of course, she was told that by Tweek, so maybe she was..well...being Tweek. 

Stan sat on her bed, not exactly the picture of being lady-like as she crossed her legs in a dress. She was a bit too busy coming up with worst-case scenarios at the moment to care about it. 

What if everyone is dressed fancier than her? What if she wears the same dress as someone else? What if everyone there hates the color black? Fuck, what is she even going to talk about if someone asks? 

Like a deity, a text from Kyle came through. 

_ what up how are you doinh  _

Naturally, she immediately made fun of her friend’s typo, before making several typos of her own. 

_ haha doinh _

_ good. nebulous. how are you doin _

_ less STAN more STAR amiright.  _

Stan raised an eyebrow, super confused. 

_ wh  _

_ what _

_ you called urself nebulous bc you know in ur heart that you are a STAR not a STAN.  _

Stan chuckled despite the super lame attempt at a joke. 

_ ok I meant nervous ;(  _

_ how are YOU  _

_ I’m ok a bit nebulous as well  _

_ why are u nervous isnt this ur family  _

_ no its a random Jewish party I found in the newspaper _

_ yes it is my family!!! and yes I do not like them at all _

_ can I ask why or is that dlc backstory I have to buy  _

_ eugh theyre just annoying. super nosy and judgy. plus I know they’re gonna make comments about TJ and I don’t need that rn  _

_ it’ll be ok I’ll be there _

_ I know. love u broski.  _

_ when will u come to pick me up sir  _

_ what time is it.  _

_ OMG ITS ALMOST 6:00 IM COMINF _

_ cominf hahah  _

Stan slipped on her flats, dashing out of her dorm room and into the hallway. She tried her best to run with flats, but it was kinda impossible. They didn’t hold her feet securely, they had no traction, the list goes on. The noirette barely avoided death by being able to skid to a halt before going down the stairs. 

As she got into her shitty little car, she noticed something was off. A glop of white paint, right on her jaw. How it got there, she did not know. She only looked at her painting once, and it was before she got dressed. It was oil paint. 

Fuuuuuckkkkk. 

Stan huffed, trying to push this aside from now and pick up Kyle. That was main priority. She started the car, pulling out of the lot and starting on the way to Kyle’s dorm. 

It was literally less than 3 minutes worth of a drive. She beeped her horn once, and then texted Kyle for good measure. 

_ it’s ur Uber am outside  _

_ shut up that meme is dead _

The door started to open, and out came Kyle. 

She had to look for a second. 

Kyle had her copper hair down, and it swayed with every movement she made. The dark blue of her floral dress against her pale skin made her glow in the sun. 

Stan blinked once. Then twice. 

Fuck. 

Kyle opened the door to the car, smiling ear to ear. “Hey, dude, you look nice,” 

Stan shivered from her voice, still trying to take in the sight that was Kyle Broflovski in a dress. 

Kyle laughed as Stan quickly snapped out of it, sat in the car, and closed the door. “Damn, cat got your tongue?” 

_ I would love a certain type of cat on my tongue right now.  _

Stan blushed madly at the thought that popped in her head, she brushed her hair back, smiling sheepishly at the redhead next to her. “No, uh, no, you look...awesome,” 

_ Awesome? Are you fucking kidding me? _

“Gee, thanks, awesome is definitely the vibe I was going for,” Kyle joked, pulling the mirror down and scrubbing off a flake of mascara with her finger. 

“So, um, who is gonna be there?” Stan nervously asked, pulling out of the driveway. 

“Oh, the gang, you know,” Kyle snorted, waving her hand, “Sheila Broflovski, Gerald, little Ikey, maybe some other relatives I don’t give a shit about who will ask me when I’m gonna have kids,” 

“Damn, you really don’t like them, do you?” Stan switched lanes. 

“Not a bit. They’re all so fucking- ugh,” Kyle hissed, before breathing out deeply, “The only good person there is Ike, the rest can go rot in hell,” 

Stan cringed, definitely nervous at how this was going to go. She wasn’t really aware that she had a possibility of being caught in a Broflovski gunfight at this party. 

“Ike? Is that your brother?” Stan tried to divert Kyle’s attention from her, uh, less favorable family. 

“Yeah, he’s a little goofball, he’s like, the only reason I’m going,” Kyle smiled softly, “By the way, you’re gonna wanna tell them your name is Stanelle or whatever, they don’t do nicknames, and if you tell them your name is Stan, be prepared to be passive aggressively made fun of,” 

Stan winced at her tone, “I’m guessing they’re gonna call you Kylie too?” 

Kyle raised her eyebrow, “Well yeah, but, ‘too’?” 

Aw, shit. 

“Uh, like TJ did, you know,” Stan chewed on her lip, trying to salvage what she had wrecked. 

Kyle looked down, wringing her hands, “Um, yeah, like that,” 

It was quiet the rest of the ride, Stan occasionally looking over at Kyle, who was looking out the window. She seemed...solemn. 

As they arrived to the venue, Kyle began to check herself in the mirror, before looking at Stan’s face, immediately, she grimaced. 

“You’ve got what I hope is paint on your jaw,” Kyle poked at her jaw, making Stan burst into flames on the inside. 

Jesus, calm down, you idiot.

“Uh, yeah, it’s paint, I don’t really have anything to-“ Stan’s words fell out of her mouth as Kyle licked her own thumb and wiped off the paint on Stan’s face. Kyle immediately realized what she had done, moving backwards with an extremely red blush on her face. 

“I- Sorry, I’m so used to my brother, I didn’t-“ Kyle bit her lip, “My bad,” 

Stan had to remind herself to breathe. “It’s okay, no problem,” She stuttered out, gesturing at the door to remind Kyle that people were watching. 

Kyle stepped out of the car, her black heels clicking. She groaned in distaste at them, struggling to walk. 

“Why would you wear heels if you can’t walk in them?” Stan laughed softly, hooking her arm around Kyle’s. She did look beautiful in them, but it just made her tower over Stan even more. 

Kyle stammered, “I, uh, it’s my brother. I have to be taller than him, you know?” 

“Oh my god,” Stan couldn’t help but laugh, “Seriously? You’re like 8 feet tall without heels, you’ll be fine,” 

Kyle shook her head, “No way, dude, he’s taller than me when I don’t wear heels. If I’m 8 feet, he’s 10 feet,” 

“Is your entire family a bunch of giants? Am I walking into a Jack and the Beanstalk situation?” Stan led Kyle up the stairs and into the lobby. The venue was gaudy, sequin curtains and a weird, black and red color scheme. 

The ginger’s face distorted into a look of tired confusion, “God, are we in the back rooms?” 

“The what?” 

“The back rooms. You know, the whole creepy pasta thing with the yellow rooms and shit?” 

Stan looked at Kyle incredulously, to which Kyle couldn’t help but snort. “Don’t look at me like I’m insane, it’s a real thing!” 

“If you say so, Miss Daisy,” Stan winked. Suddenly, a large woman walked towards them, and Kyle unhooked her hand from Stan’s at the speed of light. 

As she got closer, Stan could tell it was most likely her mother. 

“Hello, Kylie, who is this?” Kyle’s mother greeted, voice nasal and smelling of Chardonnay. 

“Oh, this is Stanelle,” Kyle said, voice unlike how Stan had ever heard her before. It was plasticky, sugar-sweet, and perfectly formulated for her family. 

“Stanelle? Why, that’s a lovely name, sweetheart, I’m Mrs. Broflovski, but you may call me Sheila,” Sheila’s voice was the exact same way. 

Stan smiled politely, “Nice to meet you,” 

The interaction ended pretty quickly, with Kyle pretty much pulling Stan away from her as quickly as possible. 

“Ugh, thank god,” Kyle sighed as they got away, voice normal again. 

“She didn’t seem..that bad?” Stan whispered as Kyle led the two of them over to a black-haired man. 

“Trust me, you haven’t seen her in her final form,” Kyle joked, but it was obviously something that was a bit of an open wound for her, so Stan refrained from poking at it. 

The tall man turned around, before breaking into a smile and walking over. Kyle grinned too, a mischievous glint in her eye. 

“Ikey!” Kyle hugged him, before looking him up and down to compare their heights, “What the fuck, dude, how are you still taller than me?” 

Ike laughed, “Canadian genes, dude,” He turned to Stan, “Oh, hey, I’m Ike,” 

“O-oh, I’m….Stanelle?” Stan looked to Kyle, unsure of whether Ike should know. Kyle brushed her off. 

“Everyone calls her Stan, but we figured, well, you know,” Kyle gestured to the room around the trio. “How are things at home?” 

Ike grimaced, “Uh, well, they didn’t make me wear a dress, so I guess it’s better than normal?” 

Kyle frowned, “I can’t believe them, Ike, I just-“ Kyle took a deep breath. “As soon as you turn 18, move the fuck out, I’m telling you,” 

Stan blinked, confused. Ike noticed her confusion, smiling sheepishly. 

“Yeah, I’m trans. You know how it is,” Ike put his hands in his dress pants. 

“Oh,” Stan wasn’t sure exactly how to react. It wasn’t like she was against it, but would it be weird if she congratulated him, or would it be even weirder if she said nothing? “C-Cool,” 

Cool, she said, in response to someone coming out to her. Cool. 

Ike laughed, “Don’t stress about it, just call me ‘him’ and we’ll be cool,” 

Stan smiles nervously, “Oh, tight, dude,” She grimaced at her choice of words. Why, oh god, why, did she have to constantly use slang when having serious discussions? 

Sheila came over to them from another group. Kyle stiffened, patting Ike’s shoulder comfortingly. 

“Hello,  **ladies** ,” Sheila greeted, hammering in the word ‘ladies’ as if she was making a point. Ike visibly stiffened, and Kyle kept her hand on his shoulder. 

“Hey, mom,” Kyle attempted to keep the restrained frustration out of her voice. 

“Oh, Kylie, did you have to wear such a revealing dress?” Sheila tutted, pushing Kyle’s hair out of the way and fretting with her necklace. Kyle wasn’t patting Ike’s shoulder anymore, she was holding it, as if trying to keep her grip on her emotions. She stayed deathly still while her mother did this. 

Kyle said nothing in response. 

Sheila quickly moved from Kyle, now flipping the collar of Stan’s dress downward. “Couldn’t you have dressed more….appropriately? Like your friend, Stanelle?” Sheila’s touch was shrinking, and Kyle’s pissed off energy radiated off her.

“Sorry, mom,” Kyle gritted out, her hands in fists. Sheila seemed to notice her daughter’s obvious frustration, and simply smiled before walking away. 

Kyle breathed out, eyes not moving from the woman. 

Ike put his hand atop Kyle’s, “Ky, please, I know, let’s just grit our teeth and get this shit over, okay? No fighting,” 

“I fucking hate her,” Kyle simply said, but her tone wasn’t venomous. It was sad, like she was recalling things she would rather not to. 

“I know, Ky, we all do,” Ike sighed. 

Kyle turned to Stan, “I should’ve never brought you here, I’m so sorry,” 

Stan slid her hand into Kyle’s, rubbing soothing circles just like Kyle had done for her that day at the roller rink. “It’s gonna be okay,” 

Kyle slid her hand off Ike’s shoulder, resting her head atop Stan. “I’ll try,” 

——-

Everyone was gathered around a table eating, Stan was seated uncomfortably in between Kyle and her father, who looked very rundown. 

“Excuse me, Amy, would you pass the napkins?” Sheila hummed, looking towards Ike. 

Kyle sat like a statue. Ike winced, grabbing the napkins and hurriedly sliding them over to his mother. 

Sheila raised an eyebrow at Kyle and her stillness. 

“Is there a problem, Kylie?” 

The table fell silent, all conversations immediately stopped. Ike looked to Kyle, eyes pleading. 

“No,” Kyle said, hand sliding under the table to hold Stan’s. Stan immediately gripped back, trying her best to calm her down.

“Are you on your cycle, Kylie? There’s no reason to stare like that,” Sheila smiled, aware of how incredibly angry Kyle was becoming. 

Gerald grunted beside Sheila, waving his hand as if to distract two bulls from staring at each other. “Sheila, please-“ 

“What, Gerald? I’m just concerned for her,” 

Bull. Fucking. Shit. 

Kyle wasn’t saying anything. She couldn’t form words that wouldn’t start an argument. 

“Kylie, dear, have you gone deaf? 

“I’m fine, mom,” Kyle was biting her tongue, Stan could tell. 

“Hm. Alright, well, how is your schooling going, Stanelle?” Sheila asked, sipping dark wine. Stan cringed inwardly.

“Oh, uh, it’s good,” Stan kept her tone nice and even, “I’m an Arts major,” 

There was a beat, and Kyle was holding Stan’s hand even harder. 

Sheila laughed. 

“An Arts major? Good luck making money with that one!” She laughed and laughed, like it was all some joke, even though everyone around the table was rigid and awkward. 

Stan frowned, unsure of how to respond. Kyle was tapping her foot rapidly on the ground. 

“I mean, I can get, like, an animation job or be a graphic designer, or-“ 

“Or a cartoonist for the Sunday funnies in the newspaper. Seriously, darling, do you have a plan for once you graduate? Or relying on luck? Kids these days think they’re invincible, I swear,” Sheila tapped her finger on the rim of her wine glass. 

Kylie slammed her glass on the table. Ike sighed, putting his head in his hands. 

Stan tried to hold onto Kyle’s hand to calm her, but she ripped it away and stood up. 

Sheila’s eyes almost bored into the ginger, mockingly. 

“Holy fucking shit, Mom, can’t we have one normal dinner without you making everyone upset?” Kyle hissed, and Stan could tell by the way that Sheila’s eyes almost popped out of her skull that cursing was not a normal thing. 

“Excuse me?” Sheila put down her wine glass. 

“I haven’t seen you in a year, I come to the stupid ‘party’, and you not only slut-shame me for wearing a basic fucking dress, but you make a point of misgendering Ike and calling him the wrong name in front of me? And now you’re insulting my friend right in front of me?” Kyle glared at her mother. 

Stan was silently begging Kyle with her eyes to sit down and stop, just to make it through the dinner, but she didn’t. 

“If Stanelle and ‘Ike’ were so bothered,” Sheila put quotations around Ike’s name, “Why didn’t they say anything, hm? It seems to me like you’re doing anything you can to make mommy the bad guy,” Sheila turned to Stan. 

“Well, go on, Stanelle, am I really that horrible?” Sheila asked, and Stan felt herself shrivel up. 

“Oh my fucking god, stop it. The only reason Ike and Stan didn’t do anything is because they’re too fucking nice! Ike begged me to not say anything, and I tried my best, believe me, but you’re so insufferable that I can’t just sit there anymore! I’m not nice like them, you fucking hag, and now I’m letting you know!” Kylie shouted, rage fuming off of her. 

Everyone was silent. 

“Kylie Broflovski, apologize this instant!” Sheila stood up as well, but she was far shorter than Kyle. 

Jesus Christ. 

“By the way, I’m fucking gay too, just so you know!” Kyle laughed at the scandalized look on her mother’s face. Stan grabbed her arm, eyes pleading with her to please, please, let’s just go, please. 

“You’re delusional!” Sheila screamed, voice so shrill that Stan cringed. Kyle looked like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders, her posture was tall, she did not cut off eye contact from Sheila. 

“Oh, really? I’m delusional?” Kyle sneered, before placing her hands on Stan’s cheeks and kissing her. 

Kissing her. 

On the lips. 

It wasn’t gentle, it wasn’t meaningful. It was violent, it hurt. It hurt more than just physically. 

Her soul ached. 

Stan was stuck between an alter reality and real life, not really hearing whatever Sheila screamed at her daughter and whatever Kyle screamed back. Her blood stopped moving, her heart stopped beating, every cell in her body stopped. 

Then, Kyle put her hand on her shoulder softly and said her name. Stan found herself being led out by Kyle. They were outside. 

It was cold, that’s what Stan remembers the most. Bitter enough to make her blood pump again just for the sake of being alive. Kyle breathed in awkwardly, and when Stan entered reality to investigate the noise, a tear fell from Kyle’s eye. 

The sounds of the city invaded Stan’s ears all at once, and she could feel the rough leather of her car seat. Kyle was across from her, sobbing. She gathered herself together. 

“Kyle?” Stan whispered. 

Kyle just looked at her, eyes red and weeping. 

“Are you okay?” Stan asked, still not very good at breathing herself but trying her best because, god, someone had to be stable at this moment. 

Kyle didn’t answer at first, just furiously rubbing her eyes and chewing on her lip, which was now bleeding. Then, once her hiccups slowed to a stop, she just looked at Stan. 

“I didn’t mean to- I’m so sorry, I-“ The way Kyle was looking back at her made her sick. She was completely and utterly regretful. There was maybe even a bit of disgust in her eyes. 

“Kyle, are you okay?” Stan kept her tone even. 

“I will be. Give me some time,” Kyle shook her head, “Are you okay?” 

Stan didn’t say anything even remotely related to the question. 

“Do you wanna go to Tacobell?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLSSS TELL ME UR THOUGHTS I DIDNT EVEN PLAN THE ENDINF I JUST STARTED WRITING AND WAS LIKE WAIT WHAT IF KYLE KISSED STAN ALSO YES I KNOW SHEILA IS BASICSLLT A DIFFERENT CHARSCYER DONT JUDGE ME ASJJSJSSJ


	6. balcony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a short chapter that desperately needed to happen

The Dorito Locos Taco seemed like it would be too heavy for her at the moment, but she also didn’t want to eat something small either as she hadn’t eaten all day. 

She quickly ordered for the both of them, assuming that Kyle was probably too upset to even think about what food she wanted. Kyle was sitting in the back, the fluorescent lighting making her tears shine against her pale skin. 

The cashier handed her the food, and she quickly brought it over to the redhead. Kyle was devastated, no question about it. 

As she set down the infamous Dorito Locos Taco in front of Kyle, the ginger looked like she might throw up. 

“Dude, calm down, just breathe,” Stan assured her, still too uncomfortable to provide any physical affection, but pained enough over Kyle crying that she had to do something. 

“No, I mean-“ Kyle cringed, tugging at her hair, “I shouldn’t have- I’m so sorry,” 

Stan sighed, gently taking hold of Kyle’s hands and pulling them from her hair. “It’s okay, just breathe, please,” 

“No, it’s not okay, god,” Kyle breathed out, eyes squeezed shut, “I have a boyfriend, and I- I can’t believe I fucking kissed you. I’m so sorry,” 

Stan avoided having to respond by taking a bite of her taco. 

Kyle eventually stopped hiccuping and sobbing and took small bites of her own taco. 

They both jumped as a car screeched to a halt outside, moving quickly into the Taco Bell parking lot. Stan inwardly screamed. 

It was a grey truck, plastered with bumper stickers. A very familiar blonde girl was sitting behind the wheel. 

“Aw, fuck,” Stan swore, putting her head in her hands. Why in God’s name did Kenny have to show up now? 

Kyle stayed silent, watching Stan fold up in front of her. 

Kenny opened the door to the store violently, spooking the teenager at the front. Immediately, Kenny fell into a rant. 

“Stan, for fuck’s sake!” Kenny stomped over to the table, but she fell silent as she saw the leftover tears on Kyle’s face. 

The blonde blinked at Stan, eyes betraying the concern about everything in the situation. “Stan? Kyle? What the hell happened?” 

Stan blinked right back at Kenny. Kyle coughed awkwardly, motioning for Stan to explain. She knows that Kyle doesn’t want her to tell Kenny about the kiss. It doesn’t have to be said. 

“Uh, I went with Kyle to a family thing she was having, and uh, she got in a pretty bad fight with her mom,” Stan almost whispered. 

She just feels so numb. She can’t really keep eye contact. 

“Oh,” Kenny slid beside Stan in the booth. Kenny really wants to say something, but Stan knows she won’t. 

“How did- How did you know that we were here?” Kyle asked, eyes watery. 

Kenny shifted in her seat, unsure of how to respond, “I, uh, I just saw Stan’s car,” 

“Bullshit,” Kyle sighed, taking another bite of her taco. Kenny shrunk under her gaze, even though she was crying, she was still intimidating.

Kenny is pretty amazing at coming up with half-true answers on the spot, though, so she managed to come up with an excuse. 

“Stan wasn’t returning any of my calls, so I was worried and went out looking for her,” Kenny swiftly half-lied. It was true, sorta. It just left out the meat of the details. 

Kyle believed it, sorta. She looked to her phone at the mention of a call and immediately made a twisted face. 

“Kyle?” Stan tapped her arm, so emotionally drained but knowing that look. 

“Yeah?” 

“Is that TJ?” Stan asked, and Kenny gave Stan a look. 

“Uh, yeah,” Kyle chewed on her lip, “Look, is it okay if I sleep over one of your dorms? I don’t have the energy to deal with him right now,” 

With that, Stan gave Kenny the look right back, “Of course, don’t worry,” 

Kenny coughed awkwardly, “Can I come?” 

Before Stan could respond, Kyle began speaking, “Of course, bro,” The ginger handed Kenny a taco. 

Kenny gratefully took it, thanking her. “So, like, should we get out of here? I think that teenager over there might be getting too used to the company,” 

Kyle snorted, “Yeah, okay. I’m pretty worn out,” 

They headed back to Stan’s dorm, silence almost deafening. Kenny kept looking over at Stan every few seconds.

When they finally arrived, it was nearing midnight, and Kyle looked like she might fall asleep at any second. 

Stan cringed at the papers scattered around her room, and Kenny did a double-take at the painting. Stan ignored her questioning gaze and led Kyle to the bed. Kyle took off her heels before immediately plopping into bed, face smushed in the pillow. 

She was out within minutes, leaving just Stan and Kenny. 

“Stan?” Kenny whispered, breaking the silence. 

“Yeah?” 

“Let’s talk outside,” Kenny sighed, walking onto her small porch. Stan followed her.

As they watched the traffic on the street below, Stan was the first to break the silence. 

“She kissed me,”

Kenny almost dropped her cigarette, eyes wide, “Doesn’t she have a boyfriend? Hell, Stan,” 

“She was fighting with her mom and basically told her that she was gay. Her mom didn’t believe her, so she just-“ 

“Kissed you?” 

“Kissed me,” Stan shut her eyes tightly, chest aching. 

There was a long silence. 

“She apologized too. I think she was grossed out,” Stan put her head in her hands, “She kept crying, she wouldn’t fucking stop. I didn’t know that I was that - that disgusting to her, that awful,” Stan’s voice broke and she played it off with a cough. 

“And that painting,” Kenny said, “That’s her, isn’t it?” 

Stan looked away, ashamed, “Is it that obvious?” 

Kenny sighed, taking a drag of her cigarette, “It couldn’t have been more obvious unless you put an arrow pointing to it with her name,” 

“Well, sorry, I’m just fucking upset, okay?” Stan hissed as tears started to drop, “It’s stupid, it’s so stupid, I shouldn’t be crying, I’m so stupid,” 

Kenny immediately put out her cigarette, putting her arms around Stan. “You’re not stupid, I wasn’t saying that to be mean, I’m sorry,” 

Stan didn’t hug back, nails digging into the wooden barrier on the balcony, “Why am I doing this? Why can’t I just stop? Fuck!” 

Kenny nestled her face in Stan’s shoulder, trying her best to subdue her cries. 

“And you - you guys, you all think I’m gonna crumble like last time, and I wanna believe I won’t, because I’m not that fucking stupid, but fucking look at me right now, crying like a fucking - teenager!” Her voice broke into an anguished yell on the last word, kicking an empty can off the balcony with all the force she could muster. 

Kenny flinched as she tried to turn Stan around so she could look at her face to face, Stan resisted, “Get your fucking hands off me, asshole! I don’t need this-“ Her voice broke yet again as Kenny looked into her eyes. 

Stan sobbed as Kenny pressed her into a hug after seeing her grief-stricken face. 

“I don’t need this, I can’t-” Stan cried incoherently into Kenny’s shoulder. 

“Breathe, Stan,” Kenny combed through the noirette’s hair with her fingers. 

Stan hiccuped, her sobs eventually slowing and then finally fading into silence. She pulled apart from Kenny, wiping at her tears. 

“I’m sorry,” Stan sighed, “I think - I think I’m just gonna go to sleep, okay? I’m sorry for yelling at you,” 

Kenny nodded her head, “It’s okay, I’m willing to play punching bag when you need it,” 

Stan immediately furrowed her brows, “Don’t say that, seriously, you’re a person too,” 

Kenny smirked, “What are you gonna do? Yell at me?” 

Stan punched her shoulder softly, “No, I’ll be uncomfortably nice to you, it’ll be so weird, you’ll hate it,” 

The blonde made a disgusted face, “Yeah, yeah, okay, you win,” 

“Goodnight, Ken,” Stan sighed, before walking back inside. 

Kyle was still asleep on the bed, and Stan settled beside her, drifting off into sleep. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> please leave comments!! <3


End file.
